I’d like to propose a question for this week, and that is: How am I doing what I’m doing? In other words, what is my inner attitude while I am performing an action?
For example, is my nose to the grindstone, am I acting in a hurried manner or preoccupied with something else? Am I pressuring myself to do something or to accomplish something, subtly criticizing myself or someone else, or am I nervously or worriedly doing something? How about am I happily or gratefully doing something, am I doing it in a relaxed way?
I caught myself sitting to meditate this morning with an inner attitude that was tight, like a duty, “I need to do this.” When I realized it (mostly by becoming aware of my body and thought patterns) I decided to “relax” and “open” instead. I’d rather be in the space of I want to meditate vs I have to.
I was sitting outside in the morning and it was beautiful. I had only noticed that peripherally so far because my mind was preoccupied. So I took a couple breaths and repeated “relax” and “open” a few times. My body softened and so did my mind. My thoughts slowed down. I relaxed into the beauty of the morning, and my gratefulness to be alive and well. I listened to the birds singing, looked at the vibrant colors, inhaled the fresh smells.
By focusing on what I was taking in with my senses, my body and attitude shifted. My awareness began to expand gradually and naturally into a meditative head space. I felt more present within and I sensed the subtle presence of my teachers and guides in the spaciousness of the moment. I asked myself, “what would my problems feel like if I were on the moon right now?” The answer was “very different.”
Have a great day and week enjoying the fullness and build-up to solstice on Saturday.