Feb 21, 2019 | Self-Care
For the last two nights the moon has been very full, and the sky has been very cloudy. I woke at 3:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I stayed in bed for a while trying to settle my mind and snooze again, but no luck. Thoughts about work and life kept swirling around. Sound familiar?
I saw light shining in the window and remembered about the moon. So, I got out of bed and went to the living room windows looking to see if I could find it. At first there was too much cloud cover to see the moon itself, so I settled myself on the couch waiting and enjoying the change of venue. Soon my patience was rewarded and there she was peeking out as the clouds began to part. At first a feeling of awe struck me as I saw the full moon in all her glory. The clouds thinned leaving a translucent layer that slowly spread and gathered, weaving patterns with the bright moon and the dark sky that looked like they should be captured on an artist’s canvas. I felt like the stunning display was just for me and that the moon had come in response to my heart’s desire.
The whole experience changed my internal state completely. Any thoughts, plans or worries about the next day vanished and were replaced by an inner peacefulness in the silence of the night and a soothing joy in my heart. As the clouds came back and the moon disappeared, I settled on the couch with my pillow and blanket and basked in the experience for a while before falling back to sleep.
This post is really a continuation of the last one where I said that if we change one aspect of a pattern, the whole thing is transformed. In the language of qi (chi-vital energy) I would say that my intention to connect with the moon set an interactive experience in motion that cleared any mental agitation, relaxed my nervous system and allowed my inner heart to feel its peaceful nature. This transformation of qi from stuck to moving is the key to health and well-being. More than that, it’s a portal to the relationship we have with the wholeness of the universe that is mediated by the sincerity and love of the heart.
Feb 13, 2019 | Looking Inside
Want to feel more confident and connected?
Our bodies are an amazing reflection of how we feel in any given moment. Chances are that when you feel unsure, awkward or uncomfortable in a situation your body will let you know. If you notice your shoulders, your may find they are hunching slightly forward or moving up towards your ears. Your teeth may be clenched, or your jaw may feel tight or determined. Eyes can be tense as they look for information or cues about what to do next. Your breath may be shallow or your chest tight and drawing slightly inward or pushing a little outward. Perhaps you are just tired, and your torso is slumping a little in your chair, or as you stand in line.
By changing one aspect of a habitual pattern, it is no longer the same pattern. Your brain and feeling state will respond differently. Try this simple exercise.
Calm Your Nervous System
Our bodies are also resources for transforming our state in an instant. Try making a few simple adjustments and notice how it changes your inner environment. First, take a slow and deeper breath and tell yourself that you are okay, and you belong right where you are. This accomplishes two things. One is you connect with yourself in a conscious way which starts to gather your resources. The second is you calm the mounting stress response with a little reassurance and a slow and deeper breath which calms your nervous system.
Change Your Posture Mindfully
Next adjust your upper body slightly by moving your shoulders in the opposite direction. If they are rounding forward, try raising your breastbone in the front up towards your chin and dropping your shoulder blades in back. Do that slowly and consciously and see what happens. Just that little adjustment can help your confidence level a lot. You are starting to summon your “upright qi”, and your heart center is looking up. You probably feel lighter and even from the outside you look more resourceful. Turn the corners of your mouth upwards into the hint of a smile to add icing to the cake.
If your shoulders are moving up towards your ears, drop them down a bit and squeeze your shoulder blades together in the back. This will also help your heart center wake up in a positive way. Take a few moments now to close and relax your eyes and very slowly go back and forth between your original, habitual posture and the new one. By slowing the process down and noticing the change in your experience you will reinforce the effects of this simple exercise in your brain, body and mind.
Practice
If you like how you feel, consider joining one of our qigong classes to learn how to train your mind and body to access your inner confidence when you need it the most. The next class begins February 18, 2019. We will use body, breath and mind to boost trust in our inner selves and to flow with change by attuning to the inherent cycles of nature.
Nov 25, 2018 | Looking Inside
For an extrovert, and someone who grew up around a lot of family members, being alone can be confused with being lonely. When the house is quiet, and the weather is cloudy it’s a paradise when you want to be alone, and an empty room when you feel lonely. All kinds of thoughts can intrude into an empty room. Like thoughts about those who are missing, or restless wanderings about what tasks are incomplete or what activities, like cooking or TV, can fill in the void. The judging mind likes to add to the party with comparisons about what kind of life would be better, or how to be a better person by doing this or that. It taunts about how the grass is greener on the other side, and longs to be with others to distract from feeling lonely.
Maybe today all of that is just a cover for grief. Grief about the loss of someone dear. Grief about the passing of an era and the passing of a life. I don’t like to admit that I am worried about the future, about my health, and about getting older. Someday I will have to say goodbye too. I’ll have to leave everyone I know and begin something new.
However, as I sit here writing and acknowledging all of this I am feeling more relaxed with the quiet house and the stillness of the night. I’ve blown my cover and I’m sitting with what is real right now in my heart. So I feel connected to me.
As I start to feel ok with being alone, a person comes into my room and starts to chat with me. So I’m not really alone and that, I realize, is a message from my soul. That brings a smile to my heart. I am never really alone because my soul is always with me.
P.S. November is characterized by Hexagram 2, The Receptive. The hexagram has all yin lines which characterize a time that is still, quiet, dark. It’s more like being than doing. We might feel that stillness as emptiness, and be reminded of loss and our own mortality. If we are “doers” we can get busy so we can fill up the perceived space, because that makes us a little anxious. But yin is one part of a great wholeness. The classics advise us to be receptive at a time like this and embody the quality of nature to feel our oneness and connect with our soul.
Nov 14, 2018 | Big Picture
Several questions come to mind as I attempt to embody the inner environment suggested by hexagram 2, The Receptive, which is the symbol for the energy of November. The six broken, or yin lines mean that this is the quietest time of the year and a time to be receptive to inner guidance, like the moon is receptive to the light of the sun. Hexagram 2, K’un, characterizes the virtues of the Earth, which is mother to all of us without discrimination or need for acknowledgement.
This is a month to let go of self interest, to listen more than talk, to be receptive and supportive, and to look for inner truth vs respond habitually from our conditioned minds or hidden agendas.
Hua-Ching Ni’s interpretation of hexagram 2* says the search itself for what’s true for us in any situation expands our minds and connects us to the very heart, integrity and foundation of life itself. “People never realize that their true significance and worth reside in the very being of their individual lives.” It is our beliefs, vanity, expectations and inner conditioning that separate us from each other.
He goes on to say that in the beginning of the search for truth people often get lost because they do not know exactly what truth is. But that clarity gradually develops with experience.
The questions that come in my inner search today are:
- Am I aligned with finding what’s true and expressing it in the situation I face or do I have an inner agenda?
- How do I discover what my agenda may be? (i.e. desires, striving, expectations)
- Does this inner agenda(s) come from internalized pressures or learned behavior, i.e. financial survival, cultural conditioning, family stories and peer pressure that keep it/them in place?
- Is this habitual inner story blocking me from seeing the bigger picture in this situation?
- If I soften or let go of this agenda can I perceive inner guidance and organize myself to follow it?
- Is there anything that keeps me from moving forward with what feels right in the moment?
- Is there a person or practice that can support me to be more receptive in my current situation?
In keeping with the month, I leave you with these questions in the spirit of connection, and with the hope that they inspire your own insights.
*I Ching, The Book of Changes and the Unchanging Truth; Hua-Ching Ni, pg 224-5.
Oct 20, 2018 | Looking Inside
Our Heart Protector meridian energy encompasses our capacity to be open, vulnerable and intimate with another human being, and to our own feelings, passions and inner spirit. It is also our ability to set a boundary in relationship and protect ourselves from hurt. We need both authentic openness as well as self-protection to have a heart protector gate that swings open and closes easily and appropriately.
In relationship to this, I was pleased to hear an interview on NPR’s show All things Considered, with Joel and Benji Madden, twins who started the band Good Charlotte.
This interview is a great example of opening to inner passions and spirit, as well as other Heart Protector qualities like loyalty, talking about authentic feelings, and reaching out in the spirit of compassion and warmth. Joel and Benji are talking about the music on their new album called Generation RX which came out of their desire to write music that is authentic and vulnerable and speaks to the pain they see manifesting in friends and young people in our culture. Their observations and advice extend to all of us because young people grow into young and older adults. (more…)
Oct 6, 2018 | Looking Inside
In October, temperatures get cooler and leaves fall from the trees. Nature is shedding her lush summer display and is looking more vulnerable on the outside. Vital essence is moving internally now and will store in roots through winter, so the display can sprout externally again in the spring.
October is also the month of the Heart Protector meridian, also called the Pericardium. Key words for the Pericardium are vulnerability with safety, intimacy, authenticity, and staying in contact with our inner light and passion. We use our heart protector energy to show our naked vulnerability with our intimate other and turn on the hormones that give us the feeling of being in love. Like the trees, we must shed some layers to open in this way.
Opening to our heartfelt realities is a special space and deserves protection. Just like the weather outside, the heart protector wants to be a little cool on the outside yet warm and passionate on the inside. This coolness on the outside is accomplished with health boundaries and discernment. We want the heart protector to say no to people or energies that take us away from what feels right for our inner brightness, well-being and peace of mind. That is often hard to do given the cultural influences and peer pressure we experience every day.
We also want the discernment of the heart protector to say no to internal voices that cause hurt and shut us off from our feelings or paralyze us from expressing our authentic inner passion. An example is a harsh inner critic that can be cynical and self-deprecating. Like a faithful guard dog, the animal associated with the Pericardium meridian, we can be on alert for external and internal intruders that can harm our heart space.
We’ve all had experiences where our intimate feelings are met with what feels like misunderstanding, severe judgment and even violence. We may have felt betrayed or forced by circumstances to share our intimate space inappropriately. These experiences are traumatizing and cool our passions. We can close the door to relationship with others and even cut ourselves off from knowing our feelings, needs and passions.
In the symbolism of the heart protector there are many references to betrayal, which shock the heart and injure us deeply. This is when we can start to develop behaviors that we express externally to others or internally to ourselves like physical or emotional defensiveness, resistance, anger, irritability, jealousy, impatience and even depression, anxiety, mania and schizophrenia. These compensating responses to emotional trauma are helpful for a while, but eventually limit our journey towards our authentic self and real intimate relationships with others. They damage the strength of our ego and the true discernment of what is positive or negative for us.
Sometimes out of inner anxieties and feelings of inadequacy or need, we switch the balance of the heart protector and become hot on the outside and cool on the inside. Sex without real intimacy and addiction to substances or food are examples. We may knowingly or unconsciously violate the intimate space of others with words and actions, or betray trust and integrity in our intimate relationship.
Shadow and light, like night and day, exist within the wholeness of life. By looking internally and shining the light on both the shadow and light side of our personality we can begin the inner process of change. Healing needs to come through relationship with someone who can help us sort through our experience and inspire us to feel our wholeness. This may be a counselor, mentor, spiritual guide, family member or dear friend. It can also come through inspiring books and music. Look for my next post which talks about a music group that is reaching out to inspire young people in our culture.
Aug 25, 2018 | Self-Care
Today fall is in the crisp morning air. The temperature was a cool 51 degrees. It’s a reminder that the seasons are always changing and its time to start loosening any attachment to summer. We can say that in summer Mother Nature’s ego is in full beauty. Now the fruit trees and garden vines are bowing towards the earth with their mature bounty. We must pick the fruits, eat them and store them to preserve their nutritional value. Preserving and storing essence is a theme for this time of year. Just as winter follows fall, if we don’t preserve the foods they will go back into the ground, decay, germinate and reemerge in the spring. Its all part of the process.
As I was practicing with my qigong group in the park, my thoughts went to my parents who are in decline. I noticed the tension in my body and heart that is coming from my worry about them, and beneath that my fear and resistance to the aging process. Worry about the future is almost always backed up by fear or anxiety.
One antidote is to bring the mind gently back to the present and to the physical sensations in the body. During qigong practice, especially during standing meditations, we are encouraged to relax, relax, relax and open, open, open. As I softened through my body, a healing message emerged in my mind. Like the branches that are bowing with heavy fruit, I must also bow to the process of life. This softening and allowing in mind and body eases fear. In this present moment I consciously return to preserving and storing my internal essence with movement, breath and visualization practices.
The meridian in the spotlight for September is the Kidney meridian in the system of the twelve earthly branches. Storing and preserving essence are key words for the kidney, which is like our life battery that must be recharged, or it becomes extinguished. Fear is the emotion we feel when the Kidney qi is low or stressed. Other key words, which come from the Kidney’s association with water, are surrender, humility, and strength through flow and perseverance.
To find out more about working with fear and the meridian of the month, check out my e-book, Meridian Health Almanac. Each chapter gives monthly insights for well-being in our holographic universe.
Jul 26, 2018 | Self-Care
Have you ever felt a little down and lack motivation even when things are going well, and the sun is shining? I found myself in that state when I went out in my backyard to bounce on my mini trampoline. I bounced and faced each direction trying to feel some connection to nature and realized that I felt lack luster. It was hard to engage in it wholeheartedly.
(Just a quick digression to tell you about the benefits of a mini trampoline or re-bounder. Bouncing is fun and is said to facilitate the movement of lymph and strengthen the bones).
As I continued to bounce, I decided to focus on my feelings and had to admit that I felt some sadness and nostalgia. With creative imagination, I invited that part of me to jump along with me on the mini-trampoline. I realized I felt nostalgic about my recent trip to Italy. I especially liked staying with friends and their family.
As I acknowledged that, memories of my Italian family here started to surface.The memories came with the awareness of how life keeps moving and changing, and how we change with it. I thought of my parents who are aging and that my time with them is limited. I gave myself permission to feel my sense of loss. I felt the sadness in my chest and I spontaneously crossed my arms in front of my chest to give myself a hug.
Then I used my fingertips to rub Lung 1 at the upper corners of my chest to see if I felt the sadness there. The emotion related to the Lung is grief. No, the sadness was not there.
I pressed the spirit points along the sides of my sternum with my palms, and sure enough I connected with the feelings that were lodged there, especially on the right. I held and rubbed the points and my chest gently and realized I felt both sadness and gratitude. I felt grateful for the hospitality of my Italian friends and the love in my Italian family. The visceral feelings of closeness and appreciation started to come in naturally with the memories.
The spirit points are very interesting. They are on either side of the center-line of the chest in the spaces between the ribs and have names like Spirit Burial Ground and Spirit Storehouse. Pressing these points can help us feel more of who we are at heart. They can inspire joy for living and the will to carry on. They certainly helped to transform my feeling state this morning. I felt connected to myself and to the great spirit of the universe that manifests in my life as people I love and experiences that hold and teach me about what’s important.
After that it was easy to relate to the directions. I took a walk in the morning sunlight, watered my plants, worked in the garden, and wrote this piece to you dear readers. It was a welcome change from where I started.
I invite you to try pressing the spirit points in this way yourself. Cross your hands in front of your chest and give yourself a hug. Bring your middle fingertips to the Lung 1 point which is just below the corner of your collarbone and shoulder. The edges of your palms closest to the mid-line should be covering the spirit points. Press the spirit points with the palm edges of your hands. Relax and breath into the center of your chest. Accept all feelings that come your way. Let the points guide you to the deep heart space that never changes and always transforms.
Jul 24, 2018 | Big Picture
They call Rome the eternal city and I can see why. Life is flourishing here and has been for centuries. Streets are filled with cars, buses, taxis and mopeds. Skillful taxi drivers maneuver in and out of tight spaces like water flowing around rocks. Crowds of people are out at night walking through the streets, enjoying the evening, the sites, the wine bars and restaurants. Street artists and musicians entertain eyes and ears in the open piazzas. Groups of people gather at key public places with flags and signs listening to impassioned speakers trying to persuade them about politics. It’s colorful, noisy and chaotic to the everyday eye, but when I check inside myself I feel joyful and alive. There is a smile on my lips. I’m happy to be here although the noise on the street woke me. It’s 4am and this flow of creativity started coming through, begging me to get up and write it down to share with you.
I recently read some advice from Eckart Tolle. He said when you go to a place, feel it with your soul, your sense of inner presence. In my short time here, I’ve practiced doing that in the piazzas, in timeless churches with their ornate columns, sculptures, stained glass windows and amazing frescoes, and in my hotel room at night when my heart doesn’t want to sleep.
In a perfect metaphor for grace and longevity, there are old Roman buildings being used for very modern purposes. You can walk below the city street, through old underground tunnels and into the past of ancient Rome. At the Foro Traiano, through a masterful play of lights and images, the Rome of Julius Caesar’s time comes back to life. The ruins that have been unearthed by archaeologists are embellished by modern technology and creative imagination. For a moment the past comes alive again. You see and realize that although the facade has changed, many things are still the same and life goes on in endless layers and with endless faces.
This is where feeling with the soul comes in handy, because despite all the new and the old, it helped me feel one with life’s great play. We are part of the present, part of the past, and we influence the future all at the same time. We are in the flow of the universe, and we hand the baton to each other through generations. There is always an end and a beginning happening in the same eternal moment. This is one reason I love traveling. It connects me with soul and deepens my daily practice of knowing who I truly am.
Jul 24, 2018 | Self-Care
I woke up the other night and my right arm had fallen asleep and was numb and burning. I tried to move around to get it to release but it was hanging in there. I realized that my whole neck shoulders and arms were tight. Can you relate? Do you feel creaky sometimes and wonder who you will ever feel flexible and graceful again?
I thought, I really need a good massage, and maybe even the chiropractor. Although these are great ideas, they weren’t going to help me alleviate the pain and get back to sleep now. So, I decided on tennis ball therapy. Actually, that night it was soft rubber ball therapy. I keep a little ball in my dresser right next to the bed for this very reason. The bed is a great place to do this therapy especially at night because you are already there. If you have a partner in bed with you, you may not have quite as much latitude to move around and sigh with relief, but it still works.
How to do it
Lay on your back and use the bed to give you just the right amount of resistance. You want the pressure to “hurt good,” so adjust accordingly. I start with my neck on the side that feels tighter and use a combination of moving the ball with my other hand back and forth across the neck muscles that run alongside the spine. This cross friction helps open the fibers up. Move from under your skull downwards. Stop at places that are particularly tight and breathe with them for a moment, inviting them to open. As with all these kinds of recommendations, DO NOT cause yourself “hurts bad” pain, and check with your health care practitioner if you have a special condition to consider.
If your arm has fallen asleep, move the ball down your forearm. Get into the tension that is just below your elbow. Get the area above your wrist on the back and under side of your forearm. As a side benefit, the area below your elbow also helps boost immunity according to Japanese acupuncture.
Then move down your upper back and between your shoulder blades. See if you can roll the ball over the top of your shoulders in the tension there. You must use your hands to help with that. In this therapy, creativity is the key. Any way that you can move, stop, breath and apply pressure will get you where you want to go. AVOID putting pressure directly on your spine. But you can go right next to it.
Now feel the difference between the side you worked on and the other side. You’ll probably notice it feels more smooth, alive, and even longer than the other side. Switch sides if you haven’t fallen back to sleep yet and enjoy. Heat can be nice after this if you are still awake. Use a heating pad or warm pack to your upper back and arm if that feels good. To help with sleep, take a few moments to enjoy the lovely sensations you’ve created. Let your mind feel calmer, safer, and smoother. Back to sweet dreams . . .
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